That Said

I have an issue with “dialogue tags,” an issue which started many years ago.  I was listening to a book being read on a radio program – and granted, it was a children’s book – but it was so clear as the reader went through it – “Hello,” he said.  “Hello,” she said.  “It’s a nice day,” he said.  “Yes,” she said.  And on and on.  The word “said” became like a drumbeat in my head and was truly annoying.

So, I work very hard to avoid using the word “said” as a dialogue tag.  The quotation marks should be an indication to the reader that something was said.  Writers are missing out on an opportunity to provide action, characterization, emotion, suspense, and so on by using the word “said.”  Instead. I like to present information.

“I don’t know what to do today,” Allen ran his hand through his sandy hair.

“You could go to the beach,” Betty offered a coy smile.

Rather than waste words with “said” I present description or action or some indication of character or emotion.

And the same issue applies with the word “asked.”  The question mark at the end of the quote is an indication that a question is being asked.  You don’t need to say it.

“What?” he asked.

How about moving the story or the character forward instead?

“What do you think you’re doing?” Bruce leaned over the young woman, his lips twisted in a snarl.

In a similar vein I strive to remove all the unnecessary “thats” in my writing.

He knew that she was going home.  She knew that he was angry about it.  They both knew that they had to cope.

Rather – He knew she was going home.  She knew he was angry about it.  They both knew they had to cope.